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Is mediation the right divorce approach for you?

Have you heard about mediation and all its benefits? You may be attracted to the idea of saving time and money, reducing contention and minimizing the negative effects of divorce on your children. These are only a few of the many reasons couples are choosing mediation over litigation.

However, just because it is a popular and advantageous approach to divorce does not necessarily mean it is the right one for your family. You and your spouse must meet certain requirements; otherwise, talk to your lawyer about what the best option would be for you.

You both want to divorce

The purpose of mediation is to decide upon the terms of the divorce, and its foundation is the ability to cooperate. If you or your spouse does not even want the marriage to end, then you are not ready to try mediation. If you have already tried counseling, then litigation may be your only option.

You both can be civil

If either of you are hostile, vengeful or abusive, mediation would not be a safe choice. You must be willing to do the following in order for mediation to be successful:

  •        Put your children’s needs ahead of your emotional pain
  •        Be honest about all information
  •        Speak respectfully to each other
  •        Consider your spouse’s point of view

Remember, the purpose of the mediator is only to facilitate cooperation and communication. A mediator does not fill the role of judge, listening to each side and determining an enforceable solution.

You both agree to mediation

Even if you both want a divorce and have some level of civility, either of you may insist that you would not be able to come to any agreement on your own. In this case, negotiation or litigation may be better choices. If you are unsure, it often does not hurt to try. You might be surprised by your ability to cooperate with each other, and you may come to appreciate the control you have over your own divorce settlement.

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Norman, OK 73069

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